News & Notes April 1, 2010

The President has officially changed his name to Barack McCain Obama.  He did this to blunt criticism that he was a socialist when, in actuality he has implemented numerous planks from his opponent’s campaign.

Ed Rendell, who suddenly got religion on government reform in his final year of office as Governor has agreed to join The Pennsylvania Progressive when he leaves office next January.

Arlen Specter has secretly told his wife Joan he plans to return to the GOP after the November election.  He said he can’t wait to burn that donkey tie and that slumming with working people makes him feel “dirty.”

Democratic Talk Radio has secured major sponsorship and will soon expand to ten radio stations.  Thanks to everyone who contributes to keep us on the air.

Tom Corbett has agreed his prosecutions of House Democrats was politically motivated and promises not to do it again until after the election.  That is, except for the Steve Stetler trial due to commence soon.

The Pennsylvania Green Party has decided to organize effectively and to mount major campaigns for Governor and Senate this fall.  No more tin foil hat candidates and no more infighting.

There’s good news and bad news on the dredging of the Delaware River.  While digging up the scum on the river bottom an old ship was discovered filled with old gold pieces.  The bad news is that that part of the river belongs to Delaware…

Now that it is April 1st I officially pardon Punxsutawny Phil.

Does God send natural disasters as punishment?

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