The Turkey Awards

It’s been a few years since I awarded my Thanksgiving Turkey Awards.  It’s time for a new round of giving.

A special one goes to George W. Bush for finally leaving office.  We’re all very, very thankful for that.

Dick Cheney gets one for refusing to go away.

Barack Obama gets a Turkey for refusing to be the liberal his supporters and opponents thought he was.  He gets the award for leading them on that he was liberal.

Joe Biden gets a Turkey for not thinking before opening his mouth.

Ed Rendell gets a Turkey for being a Lame Duck.

Jack Wagner and Dan Onorato get Turkeys for not supporting women’s right to choose.

Tom Knox gets one for being a predatory lender.

Jim Gerlach gets a Turkey for thinking he could beat Tom Corbett.

Corbett gets one for refusing to resign as AG while running for Governor.

Sam Rohrer IS a Turkey.

Joe Sestak gets a Turkey for being penny wise and pound foolish.

Arlen Specter gets a Turkey for…well, isn’t he just the personification of a Turkey?

Joe Pitts gets a Turkey because every woman in America would love to shove one up his…

Tim Holden gets a Turkey for being an elephant in a donkey costume.

Charlie Dent gets an award for voting against the working people of the Lehigh Valley year after year.

Jason Altmire gets a Turkey so he can be an uninsured patient in one of those hospitals where he used to work.  Let’s see how good your care is once you aren’t covered Congressman.

The remainder of the Pennsylvania Congressional delegation gets Turkeys until they renounce their health coverage until every Pennsylvanian is covered by the same medical care.

Dwight Evans gets a special Turkey for intimidating good people into choosing not to run again for the State House.  Being a legislative bully makes you a Turkey.  Using the tactic to try and kill healthcare for all means you should also be buried under the mashed potatoes and gravy.

Any other nominations?

12 thoughts on “The Turkey Awards”

  1. …Sarah Palin, because she just loves to talk turkey, but her meat is dry and hard to swallow, let alone believe.

    …Thomas Chapman, reading school district superintendent, for being a complete turkey about how he handles his junior administrators and in turn the students.

    …Reading City Council (turkeys for each), it sounds more like a gaggle of turkeys going after a handful of feed in their meetings than anything resembling civil discourse or meaningful action.  They ought all be stuffed, served up to the city, and new people with agendas other than their own, put in their place.

    …John Fielding, gets a turkey because a lot of people probably want to give him the bird anyway.

    …The Pennsylvania Senate Republican hold-outs, who made sure that Turkey Day was going to be more of a downer than usual thanks to a late, underfunded budget.

    …the poor and troubled people I work with, because I’d give them all a big turkey and trimmings to celebrate with their friends and family if I could.  

    …Nancy Pelosi, needs turkey so she can stop looking so chicken.  Maybe a hearty meal of turkey and potatoes will put some of that missing starch back into her.  

    …The big insurance conglomerates, because they epitomize what it means to be full of something, like stuffing.  Also, they usually have their head jammed up their *ss, just like a frozen bird.    It is time they got roasted for several hours and basted until they fall off the bone, too.

    …Facebook, for being turkies about how they handle peoples’ information and the wild turkey changes they make without consulting us much beforehand.  They also get the cranberry sauce award, for being bittersweet, in that you don’t like what they’re doing, but hate to cut off your friends.

    …Fox News, CNN, & MSNBC, I don’t know of any bigger turkeys than these.  If it weren’t for the dressing and side dishes, the meat from these birds would be quite ugly too look at.  Please pass the spun, whipped potatoes.

    …(soon to be ex-)Governor Mark Sanford, a turkey for thinking that he could be pushing morals from the bully pulpit, but indiscretions in the back room.  Wow, now that’s a strange bird.

    …Major League Umpires, because even turkeys could have called the games this years better, especially the playoffs, wow!  

    Okay, I think I’ve given away enough turkeys for now, after all Jaindl only makes so many million birds a year, right?  So, sit on down and have a taste of some rather foul things and when you’re done, be thankful because it could be a whole lot worse (though anything’s possible).  

  2. tyler: hey, that census worker killed himself..so where was the call for ‘not jumping to conclusions when you accused the voices of hate?

    John:

    I never wrote about

    the census worker incident so I didn’t “jump to conclusions.”

    One thing about Major Hasan which is now obvious is that the persecution of Muslims based only on their faith radicalizes them.  Bush’s insistence on making Iraq a holy war has had its inevitable effects.  This is what happens from bad policy.

    As the British inquiry into Iraq continues we’ll learn more and more about the tragic decisions which led to the Iraq War.

    Follow me on Twitter:  JohnPMorgan

    tyler: oh, i must have you confused with the OTHER John Morgan who wrote this on the OTHER Pa Progressive…

    Hope Versus Hate

    by: John Morgan

    Sun Sep 27, 2009 at 12:58:06 PM EDT

    We’re seeing an epic struggle between the forces of Hope and the forces of Hate.  This began last year when Hope was the main message of Barack Obama’s presidential campaign.  We witnessed the hatred unleashed against him as an African American seeking the highest office in the land.  Read any online board and you can see the thousands, nee, millions, of racist statements and threats being made against the President.  The tea baggers are so full of rage and hatred as to be very scary.  The culture of Hate and violence is having effects already as a census worker was hanged last week and the word “fed” was written on his chest.  

    :)

    hope everyones Thanksgiving is blessed!

    have a great day :)

  3. The making of the movie on President Bush2 that you refer to was, in my opinion, a near criminal act. That same motion picture, along with the dispeakable “General Betrayus” commercial only further proves that unbounded and mindless hate is not the sole genus of the far right.

    In fact, there is a most unfortunate example of this same genre of “hate politics” pursued on this very blog by Mr. John Morgan, who is apparently totally obsessed with his personal hatred for the Catholic Church.

    Should John continue this nonsense, he will only further marginalize himself…heading downhill to the point of possessing a measure of political influence about equal to some sign-waving character screaming at passerby’s from a downtown city street corner.

    While the Church may ignore these Morgan flea bites, should the broader political community get wind of these wild attacks on a major religion, he may find it difficult to get past the front door of the local elevator inspector.

    It is truly a shame.

    Matt Thomas  

  4. I cannot agree with your finding that the Dem leadership is as asinine as the far left wingnuts. Even if it were, few would be witless enough to run around attacking the Church and equating the Pope with Nazis who murdered millions of innocent people.

    You have it at least half right in terms of the crazies…but there are at least an equal number on the right. I support center politics which is what has prevented this nation from turning into Bosnia.

    On your other comment, I totally agree.

    How can anyone have empathy for a Mid-East so-called “culture” that puts gay persons to death, treats women as chattel and cuts the hands off someone who might steal a loaf of bread?

    I was over there just prior to the first Iraq war.

    One was cautioned not to display any Christain symbols like openly wearing a cross, crucifix or religous medal.

    Indeed, a wonderfully tolerant society.

    Matt Thomas  

  5. I am forced to agree with at least one-half of these nominations…yet you neglected to include another very worthy nominee:

    Allow me to nominate yourself, Mr. John Morgan, for possessing an inflated self-image beyond that of the “Michelin Man”…an ego of almost unlimited dimensions and one that at times challenges (God help us) even that of the ill-fated Hindenburg.

    For here is a man who, on a near daily basis, trounces not only petty Pennsylvania politicians, but goes on to slay senators, governors, bishops and even popes.

    Am rooting for you John and praying for your recieving this most high honor.

    Matt Thomas  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *